Burkhard Dallwitz, Philip Glass (The Truman Show) – Best Original Score
HFPA: Terrific, mood-inducing collaboration from both musicians.
AMPAS: We’re not going to go mad with this one. The music is not very warry or Elizabethiany.
Dreamgirls – Best Motion Picture Musical or Comedy
HFPA: As lavish and gorgeous a musical as you will see all year. Sold.
AMPAS: We’re sold too. We we vote in all the lavish, gorgeous, musical categories. We might even pile on the votes for a singer doing acting.
Scott Alexander, Larry Karaszewski (The People vs Larry Flynt) – Best Screenplay
HFPA: Milos Forman know how to work a screenplay. Fuck it, we’ll give him Best Director too.
AMPAS: Yeah we love Forman, we’re in. But that script, pretty dirty stuff.
Robin Williams (Mrs. Doubtfire) – Best Actor Motion Picture Musical or Comedy
HFPA: Was he the king of comedy? I mean, this was hilarious.
AMPAS: We have a clause in our voting hat says only vote for Robin Williams for his dramatic roles. Sorry.
Kate Winslet (The Reader) – Best Supporting Actress
HFPA: Pretty much steals the film. Fuck it, we’re going to give her Best Actress too for that Sam Mendes drama.
AMPAS: Look, she’s not getting two. She picks one, campaigns, category fraud, whatever, but she’s not getting two.
Vicky Cristina Barcelona – Best Motion Picture Musical or Comedy
HFPA: Quite a deeper human relationships story from Woody Allen, but funny mostly.
AMPAS: Woody Allen? Oooh, is there a juicy supporting role by any chance?
Sally Hawkins (Happy-Go-Lucky) – Best Actress Motion Picture Musical or Comedy
HFPA: Nobody does bleak comedy like Mike Leigh. And Sally Hawkins is outstanding. Has she ever even been to an awards show? Bless her.
AMPAS: We like Mike Leigh too. But if we can’t nominate David Thewlis, or give Brenda Blethyn the Oscar, we’re not going for this. Wouldn’t be fair.