This Movie May Truly Kill Me

If you opened my skull you would see that the whole Gone Girl thing has got very out of hand for me. Sometimes a movie comes along with so much weight behind it, that you just can’t look forward to something this much ever again. Well, not quite. But the anticipation is right there somewhere. And has been for some time. There was Foxcatcher well over a year ago, and I was on the verge of becoming obsessed. And Boyhood. Finally saw that, and quenched my thirst. But Gone Girl, well.

People have been talking about the book by Gillian Flynn, and the upcoming movie based thereon. The movie that will be directed by none other than David Fincher. And will star Ben Affleck. And the English actress Rosamund Pike – who will apparently make the Best Actress list when the Oscar nominations are announced (the movie still months from release). You start to see stills from the movie. The same stills too, so this really seems to be exclusive. That’s how it went with me.

You read about how Flynn changed the ending of the screenplay. Was this true? I mean, she wrote the screenplay. Was this just Chinese whispers – was she talking about the ending of the movie that would be slightly different? You read a lot, but can’t believe it all. She threw out the entire third act, Affleck lied. Then a new movie still is released. Wow, I’ve not seen that image yet. Excitement. I can’t imagine David Fincher making a bad movie, so I’m not worried. I’m excited, like I said.

Soon, the trailer arrives, and this is really when the internet almost exploded. And people are talking about the book more that ever. You see it in people’s hands while shopping. Photos of clues. No, those are not just photos of clues. We, the potential audience, are being sucked in. Big time. But it’s exciting to see moving pictures of the words you have read. That’s part of the appeal of movies. There’s another trailer. Holy shit, that trailer was even better. Why is Amy in the water, floating away? She can’t be – they would not put that in the trailer. Or would they?

A release date. Good, good, that’s not too long. Wait, yes it is, that’s months. That’s like years. New York Film Festival are showing it too. Prestigious. The wife and I will need to get a babysitter. Someone at the airport has the book too. They’ve started posting this one clip on the internet. It is just Nick and Amy when they meet. No big deal? That’s Nick and Amy talking! Whoa! That’s a massive scene. And not they are giving us samples from the soundtrack. Fuck off. Is it going to be any good? Those guys are not to everyone’s taste – shit, the music is fucking good. I start reading the book – and about bleeding time. And now the whole soundtrack is available. Screw you icloud and Spotify and the rest. But thanks, the score is incredible. Was it ever not going to be?

Here come the reviews. I don’t think I have ever sat and read so many reviews. The internet may be broken again. If it was I would not be able to access the reviews. The thousands of people talking about Gone Girl. And Twitter. Facebook. The many movie sites I bookmarked and visit regularly. I can’t put the book down. I say book, I am reading it on Kindle on my phone. I can’t put my phone down. Must remember to eat and go to the work, stuff like that.

I will read anything now. Apart from spoilers. Maybe I will, no I can’t. No spoilers. But I might be missing out. Not just on what happens in the movie, but other stuff, like Fincher quotes about the making of the movie. I’m reading about Fincher now. His old stuff, his great stuff, his views on all that. Anything about Fincher really. Or Affleck. And Rosamund Pike, she is fascinating. Am I getting her and Amy confused? She will be an Oscar nominee. How many Oscars will this film be nominated for?

I’m posting stuff about the movie myself now. Amy is my Twitter background. Halfway through the book. What the fuck? That was a change of pace. Great writing this, she just gets on with things for the most part. The pace has certainly kicked up a notch. And when I am not reading the book, I am talking about it, even with people who don’t know what it is. Idiots. Where have they been? I’m listening to the music, while looking at Amy, thinking about Fincher, watching videos of the cast and Fincher. Interviews. That Carrie Coons seems cool. I should switch my obsession to her. I love Go in the book. Margo.

I bought a couple of magazines. Fincher was on the cover of one, Affleck and Pike on the other. It dawns on me again she is dead in the image. So she dies? Or not? I remember that was one of the first images we ever saw for Gone Girl all those years ago. When I was free of this and did not have this problem.

I should kiss my wife and daughter. Tell them I love them. That I am still here. And I am safe. As they are at home and I am at work, I will do it another time. Reading about the movie again. And Affleck’s penis. I’m not reading about that I should say, I just see that headline around a lot these days. At last I have found something that does not interest me about Gone Girl. I wonder which scene that is though.

Must finish the book. I am now crawling my way to the finish line. I have quite a busy schedule, like going abroad shortly. Read, read, read. I imagine if I wake up one night, just for a few minutes, I will grab my phone and read a couple of lines before I fall asleep again. But Flynn ends so many chapters on a knife edge you have to go read the next chapter. And finish the chapter. Oh fuck, she’s done it again. Better read the next one. I will be so tired tomorrow at work, but I will go to bed early tomorrow. Although, I know I won’t. Plus, three hours sleep is enough.

While blogging, ret
weeting, sharing, and general internetting, I see the word spoiler everywhere. Why are you stopping me reading this stuff? Soon, I cave in and read bits, but get scared and run away. Right near the end of the book now. I’ll pack for our trip later instead of breakfast. Or sleep. I am being haunted by a movie I have not even seen. Looking for cinemas in Athens that are showing it. Otherwise I will have to wait until I get back to England. Fuck that.

How is this going to end? Not just the book, this whole addiction. Do I want it to end? Am I scared of this all ending? Will Amy kill Nick? Will Nick kill Amy? I have started concocting all kinds of theories as I get to the end of the book. Boney does something crazy – maybe kills Amy. Andie kills Amy. Go kills Amy. The anticipation has snowballed.

Then, I finished the book. I am totally confused for a moment. I go back a page, read again. I flick through the last few pages, because it said 98% read on my Kindle reader. Ah, that includes the whole book, including Further Reading, Interview with Flynn, Acknowledgements. And something else, I forget. I go back to the actual story, and read the last chapter again. Yeah, that is the end. I just sit there dumbfounded. And not in a good way or in a way I anticipated. And I anticipated a lot. Finished it though. That can’t be the end. I read the last words again, just to check.