In this interview, I sat down to talk with director Fenn O’Meally about her short film The Thread. The story traverses themes such as heritage, identity and family ties across its 14 minute runtime. In this discussion, Fenn and I discuss how her own story impacted the film, how hard it was to separate her characters from real life and the musicality of her film.
Bella: So I wanted to start out by asking you to introduce us to your film, The Thread.
Fenn: It’s interesting because it’s been a while since I’ve been talking about it. I’ve been working on so many projects at the moment. And I’m also working my feature debut. So that’s been at the forefront of my mind.
So this film was written during lockdown. It kind of all came about by memories of wearing my mother’s tights to school. And at the time at school, you had to wear grey tights or skin coloured tights. And as a young kid of dual ethnicity I found it hard to find skin colour tights in like 2010, maybe 2011. So I would wear my mum’s skin colour tights, and it was kind of a topic of debate within my family.
I remember never wanting to be the outcast of wearing the grey tights, the woollen grey tights. And wanting to wear skin coloured tights, and that being such an important thing in my young childhood mind. So the film kind of came about from this memory of wearing my beautiful blonde hair, blue eyed mother’s tights to school.
And then I wanted to explore these themes of identity. I guess it’s coming of age. But these themes of understanding and getting a grasp of your identity at a young age. Also how that differs between a young boy and a young girl of dual ethnicity. And how your parents show up in different ways through their own understanding of their identity influences. Inspiring your own rules and regulations as to how you manage your own understanding of how you should perform as a young kid of dual ethnicity.
I think for me this film is really about that those kind of little rules that you pick up throughout conversations, throughout habits that your parents do, throughout habits that your siblings do, and how that influences your concept of identity and how you present yourself in your own life.
This film is important because it’s not a London based story, it’s not a city story. It’s a small town story. And I think there’s so many stories of kids growing up, especially with things like Instagram and social media one. You had Facebook launch, and until 2008 it didn’t become more of a thing, but still didn’t have this the global influence that something like Instagram now has where you have access to all these ideas. How you can show up in the world. So for me this film is a small step into it and explore exploration into what influences your idea of your identity.
I think it’s really interesting how society kind of determines these rules. Like how you, how the body you’re born in comes with these different rules that society is kind of given, whether that is being a boy or a girl. And I think that is really interesting between the young girl, Grace, and Curtis. They have these different ideas of how to live up to their identity. Live up to the skin that they are in. And I think that’s something that I was always fascinated with.
My brother, he was so proud to be black, and I was just trying to figure out how to show up as a young girl, as a woman, in a body that obviously is both black and white. Like my hair was nothing like my mum’s. And my mum and my dad did my hair. My dad would sit there and do my hair because he knew how. And so that was always really interesting to reflect back on.
I think that’s a really beautiful answer. I watched the film, I thought it was really beautiful. I could see all of the things that you’re talking about in the film. I was wondering, you address so many things in such a short film – 14 minute run time. There’s things you’ve already spoken about, like self expression and age and race. I was wondering if you felt overwhelmed at first with such a short run time, to capture all of these things. Did you find that it was quite easy or quite difficult?
This all started when I had a conversation with the BBC, maybe 2019, 2018, that I wanted to make this film. I’ve done so many commercials and kind of more like documentary films. I hadn’t really deep dived into narrative. And so this was like my first kind of venture into the narrative realm. I was approaching this like I was writing a feature film.
I really started by recording my memories. The whole film was a culmination of different memories of my own childhood. I really didn’t want to make it about just my own memories. I wanted to also make it about my brother’s, and also the impact of the psychological journey my parents were at during that time.
It is interesting how my dad held so much back, and only now am I starting to understand why. If that makes sense. Like only now as I’m in my adult years, am I starting to be able to have the questions. Am I starting to be able to open up? Am I understanding Why he held so much back? Why he is so proudly British. And that is how he should be, and will be, and continues to be.
It felt too self indulgent to just have one theme and one idea of this coming of age story. We are so inspired and influenced and made up of the people and the memories and the moments around us. I don’t feel it wouldn’t have felt right to isolate in this film particular just Grace’s experience.
Maybe it could have been a little bit longer, and I could have said more. But as a first short film, it was really just an attempt to show the complexity of it. It’s over like two days, so the time span is so short. I think it was really about exploring the complexity of the influences that we have as children and how they are. You can just be inspired by a simple conversation, and that can have such an impact on how you live your life.
Yeah I completely understand that. I think the film handles it without kind of shoving it in your face, which I thought was really special. I kind of got everything the film was about even without too much dialogue. I know obviously you’ve kind of mentioned it’s like a love letter to your family. I was wondering how hard it was to create characters who are sort of connected to you and the people that you really know and love.
I think what is why the casting process is always so important. Being able to find Des Hamilton. I have to give so much appreciation for him, who I’ve known for a while now, for the casting. I’ve always been so adamant in making sure that the cast live and breathe the truth of what I want to express. So whether that’s in a commercial, whether that’s a music video, whether that’s something narrative, and going into my feature, if I haven’t got the cast, I can’t move forward.
It was really about finding the cast who have their own individual stories, who can access it within themselves. I think what was amazing working with David (Gyasi) was that he had his own his own story of being a proud black man. His own relationship with his father. He himself has two children of dual heritage, so that was really useful to lean on.
I think the kids are so special. Anaya was I think 10 when we shot this. And Tyrell was maybe 15. But they had their own understanding of this kind of conflict that they had to access. The same with Lucy. I mean, when I saw her casting tape I was like, that is Esther, the mother. That’s her. I instantly knew because she is so understanding. And she has this ability to show so much while saying so little.
I think for me it’s so important as a director to not over direct, to allow people to be in a space. And that’s honestly one of my strongest gifts as a director, as a storyteller. Allowing people to be in the inner space and allowing them to bring their strength to set. If I were to over direct or over control, you’re losing that magic, you’re losing that spontaneity, you’re losing that sense of self.
There’s so many negative stories right now about what being truly British means. So I was wondering, was it important to you to make a story that was predominantly positive about identity? Rather than the negative stories out there at the moment?
Yeah, massively. I had such an amazing childhood. I didn’t exactly know how to be or how to see myself as a kid, which is the story of many people and I’m sure you felt the same. I had such an incredible childhood, and I have to sing my parents praises in that. They had their own way of bringing both my brother and myself up. It’s important to celebrate to have both black and both white within me. I have that space to be able to go to Jamaica or go spaces and explore my Jamaican culture. That opportunity as a woman of dual ethnicity.
It’s really important to celebrate the wealth that we have. There’s many times that I felt frustrated, whether it was my hair or my skin colour as a kid. I felt so isolated at times. But at the same time, you grow up and often the things that you don’t want as a child, you crave or celebrate or enjoy or learn to be so grateful of. And as you go into adulthood. My parents have raised me with so much love and a lot of discipline.
I really wanted the film to show those themes of love and also discipline. I have a mum who is so beautiful and celebrates me endlessly. And that’s so rich to have. My mum sees herself within me. And it’s such a funny sentiment, because we look so different. So as a young child, you’re trying to understand how to be as a young woman, but you don’t look like the woman who is guiding you through into womanhood.
I could tell the love that you have for your family really blossom through the film. It gives you such a warm feeling. I felt when I was watching it there was almost like a lyricality to the way the film played out. How your direction took shape with the film. I know you have a background in dancing, you’ve made music videos. I found there was a musicality to the piece. Would you agree with that sentiment?
Yeah, absolutely. I think rhythm is such a huge part of who I am. I know we’ve spoken about it, but I’ve become more and more quiet on social media. I used to share so much of my dance and my movement. As a kid I used to want to be a dancer. Since my early 20s I was dancing, and then I stopped.
When I was younger, my dad would just play a lot of soul music in the car. Whether it was Otis Redding or Miles Davis or Louis Armstrong. Everyday to school and back from school. It was soul music or blues or jazz. My mum too, cooking and playing Buena Vista Social Club. And so I was always dancing. For me, rhythm has such an impact on my life. Seeing rhythm out in the world or being able to connect to some kind of movement daily is so important. There is something so significant about watching a film that is steeped in rhythm, because you feel connected or immerse so deeply into it.
There isn’t really many scenes without some form of spoken word or music in the background. And I found that really interesting as I was watching it. I realise it sort of reflect the age of the characters or where they were in life. Whether it was music or something more scholarly or the radio. Was that always your intention to have very few scenes with no spoken word or music in the background?
Yeah. If you have these feelings, like now, if I hear something that reminds me or takes me back to childhood, it’s usually either sonically or through a sense of smell. So if I hear something, like music, it will take me back to childhood. Or if I smell something, it can take me back to childhood. I love how sounds – whether it’s the radio, I always remember the shipping forecast – that instantly takes me back to childhood, because the radio was constantly going on in the background.
My dad used it, he plays the radio every, like Radio 4, every day. And for him, it was a thing of bettering himself, like educating himself, being better, as a black man. He found that it gave him an access into an education that he didn’t have. I think that for me was really significant. I didn’t understand why the radio was always on. Knowing now that was his window into an education he didn’t have was really interesting. Those sounds and those stories are so impactful.
I think there’s moments where they’re in the car and all of the trees are whipping by and that felt really nostalgic. Even to me. I think the film has a real sense of nostalgia. The more we spoken, the more I can understand how much you put yourself into the film. With the little girl, Grace, you can kind of see these little introspective moments where she’s growing up. How much of yourself or your younger self did you really have to put into Grace to capture adolescence in that way?
I did put a lot of my own memories into it. I’m trying to fit in when I was a young kid. It’s like that desire to fit in. Then you feel so exposed that you’re like, Oh my God, I shouldn’t have done that. I definitely think that I put a lot of memories in that felt true to me. Obviously, our parents have different ideas of your own memories, and that’s interesting.
Yeah, you can see that as you watch it. I feel like I even recalled from my own childhood. I was wondering, I’ve never made a film, when you’re making a film do you find it hard to leave those characters behind when you’re wrapping up production?
Not the characters. I think I had finished this and I was like, okay, let’s make a feature. And I jumped into so many jobs. I jumped in straight into commercials again, but it was more the cast. I was definitely attached to the cast, and having that relationship with them over the three days is really significant to me. And I still have so much love and care for them. Yeah, that was not hard to let go of. But like you wanted to spend more time. You wanted to do it for longer, for sure.
When I was younger, I used to do a lot of performance studies, like musical theatre. And we’d have shows that would go for like a few weeks, and when that show is over, you will go, you will break up. That bond is still there, but you don’t have that daily kind of gathering of souls. It becomes your family in that sense. I think breaking up a little family is really heart-breaking in a way.
I can imagine. I think it’s always one of those things. There’s like a lot of catharsis in an ending, even if it’s a challenging one. So finally, what’s next for you? I know you’re working on a feature, I don’t know how much you can say, but I know that this film is going to hit Raindance soon. And then you also won a price for this at the Berlin Film Festival, which is amazing.
Yeah. I’ve been so lucky. I was doing so many commercials and jobs in between and around it. I’ve been kind of overwhelmed with a lot of things. When I finish the film, I didn’t understand the significance of what impact it might have on people. I kind of was just like, okay, it’s done. Let’s move on. It’s had such a beautiful response, and I’m really proud of that, and really grateful.
It’s also like, I’ve spent the last two years writing, writing a feature, and putting that together. And I’m now working with my producer on that. I think this short was like, okay, keep going. Keep writing shorts. Keep exploring that narrative muscle. It’s been really amazing to divide my time even more so, between narrative and commercial.
It’s a little bit tricky. You have to earn money, obviously. It’s not that easy just to hide away and write. So I’ve been really adamant to use my time strategically to both balance writing and the narrative world and the commercial world. And then live a life outside of that. I think the next kind of few years is definitely focused on my feature. And it’s also focused on doing more shorts. I’ve been taking a lot of acting classes, which I’ve really loved. At first I did that to understand how to just grow as a director. But also it then transformed into me being so obsessed with it.
The performance and musical theatre, tuning back into that, that chapter of my life, has been so rewarding and so freeing. I have nothing to lose. I’ve really loved it. So I’ve written a few shorts that I want to act in, and who knows if they’ll get made, but I really have loved writing and acting and performing in different ways. Having that freedom to explore.
It’s really fascinating to listen. I really connected with this, so it’s really lovely to hear you speak about it. It sounds like you have so many good things coming up, which is amazing. Congratulations again on this one, it’s really beautiful.
Thank you so much. It’s so lovely to talk to you.
Yeah, you too.
